So I have come up with my own (patent pending) rating scale for MyEnergyDrinkReviews. My scale ranges from 1 (being worst) to 5 (being the best)
The description for a rating of #1 is an “Elephant just shit in my mouth!” This is the most disgusting thing that popped in my mind when I think of bad taste. I have never actually experienced an elephant shitting in my mouth, but it can’t be good right? Anyhow this is only used for REAL disgusting crap. Worst of the worst, bottom of the barrel. Like listening to Lady Gaga or Justin Beiber.
The description for a rating of #3 is like “Owning a pet monkey.” I know what you are thinking, “Troy, owning a pet monkey would be awesome!” Sure it would be pretty cool at times, but the fact is there are lots of non-fun monkey facts we don’t think about. Like for instance the random monkey yelling at all hours of the night. It’s 3am and you gotta be up for work in the morning, but mister monkey doesn’t care. Because mister monkey doesn’t have a job. Or the fact that the little guys tend to throw poop (although the throwing poop could come in handy with one of those pesky neighbors, “hey Bob come over and check out my new monkey” Whammy! Thank will teach you to let your dog shit in my yard.) Overall all the pros and cons of a pet monkey equal out to adequate/borderline good. Just for the record I still want a pet monkey…
The description for a rating of #5 is “Spanktastic!!” Now this isn’t a real word and has no definite meaning, but when I think of true AWESOMENESS I think Spanktasic! I have never experienced such pure Zen amazing feeling, but strive to find that drink out there that does it for me…. You know, that kind of drink that you have to change your pants when you’re done. Yep that good!
So that is my short rating scale. Please enjoy it in my future reviews… Lets get to drinking!